I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Dicks are not precious.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
Based on my calculations, I should be blackout by approximately 11:14pm and that's when I need you to take my phone away from me. Mkay?
Randomize
