I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
