Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
