I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
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