Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
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