she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
i need some magic done to my vagina
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
