I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
