is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
