Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go