I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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