dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Come on in and take your pants off
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