operation harelip BJ is a go
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
Randomize
