Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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