I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
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