I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Randomize
