I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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