just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
