I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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