dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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