I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
