But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
The Olympian is in my bed
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Officially not baby mama #3. Celebration is in order.
Randomize
