we made out on top of his cat.
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
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