My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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