Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
i dont think sending her flowers will make her forgive you running over her foot.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
It occurred to me today, whilst I was on the phone to boyfriend number 1, whilst in the car with boyfriend number 2 who was dropping me at the shops to meet boyfriend number 3 to help me buy a present for boyfriend number 4 that I should be having much more sex than I am.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
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