just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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