It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
