Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
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