Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Thanks for feeding me more tequila shots to prevent me from trying to fight her last night. Horrible logic? Yes, but you are the best friend ever
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
Randomize
