i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
Did I crawl through the hotel lobby all the way to our room?
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
