the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
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