omg this kid i'm babysitting is making a penis out of playdough ahhhh.
He just rolled me a 'baby penis' as opposed to his 'big boy' penis that he crafted...he just demanded that I roll him a penis.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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