I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Randomize
