dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
