he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
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