ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
Randomize
