what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
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