We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
