Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
i'm drunk and confused. there might be a 4 year old here.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize