My balls are so social today.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
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