I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
He kissed a someone with a penis
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
