I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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