so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
