this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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