Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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