Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
