he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
