There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
I should start handing out wavers before I have sex with someone. 1. Do you have anything to do tomorrow? 2. Are you ok with sleeping 12 hours from exhaustion. 3. Are you ok with a limp?
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
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