he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
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