I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
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