So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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