@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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