I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
So awkward... The newspaper lady just caught me sitting stoned in my driveway at 5 am and asked if I was okay. I'm way better than ok right now
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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