so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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