You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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